No Big Deal….Say it with me. No One Is Perfect

I’ve been reading a lot about the “hate” for the supermom and how no one can live up to this unrealistic supermom image. We can’t do it all. There is always a give and take. That is life. But shouldn’t we stop judging everyone so harshly and stop comparing ourselves to the uber rich and famous?

Here is the deal. No one. Nope no one is perfect. You can compare yourself to Gwyneth Paltrow in a Vogue magazine shoot all day long. But I don’t really think Vogue wants the average American woman to compare herself to styled, exercised, professional actress, who has been in hundreds of photo shoots (a la) Gwyneth Paltrow. Nor should we, she is an uber rich, actress from a Hollywood family who has countless cooks, nannies, trainers, rock star husbands and is friends with Jay-Z and Beyonce…Now no offense but I’m guess the average Mom or any Mom I know is even close to this. I can tell you that I’m none of those things. So rather than hate, I’m going to enjoy her spread in Vogue magazine as what it is…fashion, glamour and entertainment.

But I think we really need to do is stop judging each other so much. If you have perfect hair and your kid appears to be perfect great. If you have messy frizzy hair and your kid does too, great. What I always say to Gwen when something goes wrong. No big deal. I mean it repeat it it helps…NO BIG DEAL. As parents I personally think we are too hard on ourselves and everyone around us for their own decisions.

All Mom’s and Dad’s are working parents. It is called parenthood. Some parents also work outside the home and to do so they have help. Help from grandparents, day care facilities, schools, friends and families. It is ok because I bet the parents who don’t work outside of the home have a little help too.

I recently learned I’m not the best cook. It is too bad because I really like cooking. I can make a mean spaghetti sauce and have a few go to dishes, as my husband pointed out I’ve also made those dish probably hundreds of times. It is when I get a whim and try to cook something random that the bottom falls out. Ohh and I always burn something. Usually the bread at dinner parties. It is a guarantee. Cooking takes practice as does everything. For me in particular I would rather do crafts like sewing than watch TV or practice cooking an elaborate meal. That is just me. Crafting is soothing for me and I have fond memories of crafting with my Mom growing up. It has nothing to do with Martha Stewart. Who, by the way, has a large team of professional crafters doing her crafting and keeping her empire up and running.

Social media hinders a lot of us. We want to post the best picture and the funny quote that will make everyone think we are interesting, our kids are clean and our lives are perfect. I don’t want perfect. Nor do I want people to think I am perfect. Gwen’s hair will be messy, as will mine – it is the fate of curly hair. I will likely forget to put makeup on for work about once a week. I forget to call friend’s back. And I would rather write a blog post than a private diary entry. I will sew halloween costumes not to bug anyone but because I like to do that. I also don’t really watch TV. Which is just me. Cody loves TV so it works out great in our house. He get’s to watch U of A sports (which I also enjoy), soccer, cooking shows and outdoor survival shows that he loves. I would rather play on Pinterest or do a craft. That is just me.

Speaking of Cody, I’m also lucky. I know not all husbands are as supportive (and tidy) as he is. Cody likes to be busy. He enjoys a good house project and likes to cook. He also expects to be 50/50 when it comes to parenting. Thankfully because he is really good at it. He also will fold laundry as he watches soccer on TV. Not because he is perfect but because it was clean laundry that needed to be folded. We are a team. We survive because we are a team.

Anyway, I’m on a rant. It is the holidays. We are all stressed and overtired. But perhaps we should embrace the holiday spirit and stop judging everyone around us. Maybe the mom with perfect hair isn’t trying to bother you. Maybe she just has nice hair. And the Mom who throws a good party, it might be because she and her partner worked hard to host their friends and family to say thank you for all they do for them. Not to be perfect or piss anyone off.

Holiday Hosting – Thanksgiving

We hosted our second thanksgiving (first was last year). On top of hosting dinner we also hosted Cody’s parents, sister, bother-in-law and darling niece for three nights. I must say it went off without a major hitch. We took an all hands on deck approach. Everyone brought a dish, my sister-in-law made beautiful center pieces and everyone brought a pie. Dinner was delish. Cody grilled two turkeys brining and glazing galore. Well worth the man hours if you haven’t yet brined and grilled a turkey i highly recommend.

Kameron was my right hand in the kitchen. Thankfully because it takes two to pull off the warming, mashing, heating, re-heating, baking that this dinner takes. The turkeys got done early (EARLY) but we stayed on top of it. We played a “thankful” game at dinner filled with notes about thankfulness for health, spouses, children, U of A beating Duke, new houses, graditude for work, laughter, love, delish food and drink. We reminisced and talked of those we missed and wished were with us.

Something that was on topic the entire holiday with myself, Cody, my brother Joe, his wife Lindsay, Cody’s sister Kam and her husband adam was that suddenly we were the parents, the aunts and the uncles. Our parents were letting the holiday reigns over to us (with a watchful eye) and we were the adults. The kids running around laughing and babies coohing all belonged to us. We were no longer the kids.

It is funny how fast it happens. As I try and embrace my new(er) titles of Mom, aunt and sister-in-law I try and keep in mind that my family, my nieces and nephews and my own kiddos will remember the laughter in our home, the welcome voices and holiday music they hear. They will remember playing with their grandparents and chasing their cousins. It isn’t about a perfect day it is about love, laughter and togetherness.

Approaching the holidays I want to keep our door open. Host gatherings, laugh, tell stories cook yummy food and remember it is a season to be thankful. I’m thankful for those who are gathering with me this holiday season and those I miss. Technology keeps us closer together than in past years but I strive to not focus on my next social media post but rather the people who are in front of me.

So I saw roast that turkey, try a new recipe, buy that good bottle of wine and break out the holly and Christmas tunes of Dean Martin & Bing Cosby (or Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers if you are like me). It won’t be a perfect season but we can have some laughs, make some good eats and drinks and tell a few stories.

Cheers to the best season of all!

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