I’ve been reading a lot about the “hate” for the supermom and how no one can live up to this unrealistic supermom image. We can’t do it all. There is always a give and take. That is life. But shouldn’t we stop judging everyone so harshly and stop comparing ourselves to the uber rich and famous?
Here is the deal. No one. Nope no one is perfect. You can compare yourself to Gwyneth Paltrow in a Vogue magazine shoot all day long. But I don’t really think Vogue wants the average American woman to compare herself to styled, exercised, professional actress, who has been in hundreds of photo shoots (a la) Gwyneth Paltrow. Nor should we, she is an uber rich, actress from a Hollywood family who has countless cooks, nannies, trainers, rock star husbands and is friends with Jay-Z and Beyonce…Now no offense but I’m guess the average Mom or any Mom I know is even close to this. I can tell you that I’m none of those things. So rather than hate, I’m going to enjoy her spread in Vogue magazine as what it is…fashion, glamour and entertainment.
But I think we really need to do is stop judging each other so much. If you have perfect hair and your kid appears to be perfect great. If you have messy frizzy hair and your kid does too, great. What I always say to Gwen when something goes wrong. No big deal. I mean it repeat it it helps…NO BIG DEAL. As parents I personally think we are too hard on ourselves and everyone around us for their own decisions.
All Mom’s and Dad’s are working parents. It is called parenthood. Some parents also work outside the home and to do so they have help. Help from grandparents, day care facilities, schools, friends and families. It is ok because I bet the parents who don’t work outside of the home have a little help too.
I recently learned I’m not the best cook. It is too bad because I really like cooking. I can make a mean spaghetti sauce and have a few go to dishes, as my husband pointed out I’ve also made those dish probably hundreds of times. It is when I get a whim and try to cook something random that the bottom falls out. Ohh and I always burn something. Usually the bread at dinner parties. It is a guarantee. Cooking takes practice as does everything. For me in particular I would rather do crafts like sewing than watch TV or practice cooking an elaborate meal. That is just me. Crafting is soothing for me and I have fond memories of crafting with my Mom growing up. It has nothing to do with Martha Stewart. Who, by the way, has a large team of professional crafters doing her crafting and keeping her empire up and running.
Social media hinders a lot of us. We want to post the best picture and the funny quote that will make everyone think we are interesting, our kids are clean and our lives are perfect. I don’t want perfect. Nor do I want people to think I am perfect. Gwen’s hair will be messy, as will mine – it is the fate of curly hair. I will likely forget to put makeup on for work about once a week. I forget to call friend’s back. And I would rather write a blog post than a private diary entry. I will sew halloween costumes not to bug anyone but because I like to do that. I also don’t really watch TV. Which is just me. Cody loves TV so it works out great in our house. He get’s to watch U of A sports (which I also enjoy), soccer, cooking shows and outdoor survival shows that he loves. I would rather play on Pinterest or do a craft. That is just me.
Speaking of Cody, I’m also lucky. I know not all husbands are as supportive (and tidy) as he is. Cody likes to be busy. He enjoys a good house project and likes to cook. He also expects to be 50/50 when it comes to parenting. Thankfully because he is really good at it. He also will fold laundry as he watches soccer on TV. Not because he is perfect but because it was clean laundry that needed to be folded. We are a team. We survive because we are a team.
Anyway, I’m on a rant. It is the holidays. We are all stressed and overtired. But perhaps we should embrace the holiday spirit and stop judging everyone around us. Maybe the mom with perfect hair isn’t trying to bother you. Maybe she just has nice hair. And the Mom who throws a good party, it might be because she and her partner worked hard to host their friends and family to say thank you for all they do for them. Not to be perfect or piss anyone off.